(Written on Saturday 7th June, I have decided to keep my words as they were written, but have since updated them at the end).

I have always remembered what a GP once said to me as we were on a ward round together.

“Any of us could be dead within the next thirty minutes.”

 The Lockerbie air disaster of 1988 had just happened. Lives were wiped out in an instant. A colleague was crying as one of her relatives was on that plane. This made me realise that:

You can be moments away from your death at any point.

You can be only one error away from changing your life or someone else’s for the worst.

A wrong decision can escalate into one long negative impact after another, like a pack of cards or dominoes falling around you.

One of my biggest errors of judgment was embarking on a personal relationship that had catastrophic consequences for me in my early twenties. This was my negative domino/compound effect.

 I now ask myself. What if I hadn’t accepted the idea of a friend writing to a lonely heart’s column on my behalf because she had had so many offers of a date, and I happen to like one of the photos and replies?

What if I had listened to my gut then, thinking I’m insane doing this, and instead of waiting on the corner for the car to appear, just to have gone home?

Trust me, it ended badly. The costs were felt for years to come.

I have been scrolling for updates on my phone regarding the disappearance of Dr Michael Mosley, who was reported missing Friday night after going off for a walk. The highly respected doctor and journalist whose podcasts such as ‘Just One Thing’ have been hugely successful in helping people change their lives for the better, with his lifestyle advice on diet, exercise and sleep. He is mentioned in My Library and someone who is a larger-than-life figure in the world of health, science and personal well-being for me.

So no one was more shocked than I was when I heard he had gone to Symi (a Greek Island) for a holiday with his wife, decided to take a walk from the beach back to his hotel, and to date has not been seen since.

What could have happened to him is still at the time of writing anyone’s guess? He appeared to have made it to the nearby town of Pedi after traversing along a rugged and rocky footpath, where there is the danger of falling into the sea, but his last sighting in the town is where the trail ends.

I think what is so unnerving for me is that he seemed invincible. Dr Mosley appeared to have his life ‘ together.’ in every way possible. He was a beacon of good habits, good choices, healthy, fit and successful. His work on health conveyed a feeling of where positive changes and crucially the right decisions, from the food put into your shopping trolley, to the workouts you gave to your body and mind can have such a lasting positive impact.

 Whatever his motives for deciding to walk in extreme heat, this news upholds two central beliefs I have, that being:

 1) We only have the present moment.

2) We can be one decision away from changing the trajectory of our lives, for better or worse.

A few years back I read ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Toll. It was suggested that I should read it as I anxiously awaited the results of a suspicious mammogram. This was my second recall, and I was convinced this time it must be cancer. Having known several people with the disease it brought home to me that I wasn’t invincible. I thought about my life in the past and was fearful of my future. I even felt anger, and yes even bitterness that my life could be cut short and for all the things I hadn’t had the chance to do.

Up to that point, I had taken my health for granted, having long-lived parents and thought my genes were strong. It did turn out that I had dodged the bullet once again (the suspicious result was simply a result of skin tissue being squashed and overlapping within the scanning machine) but this experience never left me. Life could not be taken for granted. As I left that hospital appointment I felt I had been given another chance.

Last night I picked up ‘The Power of Now’ and was reminded of the importance of this book. Eckhart Toll states:

” Realise deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life.”

Life can be a lottery of chances, victories, mistakes, risks and the roads taken and not taken. With wisdom and hindsight, we try to make the best decisions based on our knowledge at the time. We know that life can be snatched away from us, at any given moment and that life isn’t fair or just and it appears that in this game called life, there are winners and losers.

How we navigate it comes down to choice and personal responsibility and to some extent where circumstances can be beyond our control.

As I fear for the safety of Dr Mosley all I know is one thing. The Now is all we have. We cannot cling on to the past, nor hold too tightly to what we hope to be the future. I try to live each day as if it were the last day I have on this earth. Doing what I can to contribute, making a difference, to leave a legacy, spread some kindness, care for others and do something which has meaning to me. That is all I can do.

 This is why I have set this blog up. The combination of audio, my words and pictures finally feels right for me and it is as important as the love and care I give to my family, friends and my paid work.

Take a moment to think about your life. There is a well-known saying that if you knew you only had three months left to live, would you carry on doing what you are doing?

What would you change?

What can you start changing today?

Sunday 9th June:

Update: It is with great shock and sadness that Dr Mosley has been found deceased. He appears to have taken a wrong turn on his walk, made a massive ascent up a hill and nearly made it back to a beach hotel, according to an internet statements from his wife Claire. It would appear that the heat was a likely factor in his death, and a post-mortem has confirmed he died from natural causes. My heart goes out to his family at this utterly terrible time for them. He will be so missed in the world of science and medicine. He leaves such a great legacy but his work will live on.

I still can’t believe that a man representing the right choices for living well could be taken too soon and it makes no sense. Life and death just feel like it hangs by a thread at any moment. We can do our best to not let it be cut short but there are no guarantees.

Live well my friends and enjoy each day. Be grateful for just being here, take hold of the power of Now and never let it go! His death just re-enforces this more than ever for me, and the trivial in life, plus any problems, placed more into prospective.