A Visit to a Church- solitude part 2
In this week’s audio, I have included a small extract from the book ‘Steeple Chasing’ by Peter Ross.
Also, my writing in the church from last week’s post from St Mary’s Snettisham with edits and additional thoughts.
“I hear a pitter, patter on the roof. I have no idea what it is as it is not raining. It doesn’t sound like the wind, more like a swarm of flies, but having just walked around the whole perimeter of the church there was nothing to see and all was very quiet.
Then there is the ping of my phone. I’ll put it on silent as the two visitors behind me (glance) are praying…. Writing pauses.
Oh, the ping is from my aunt. She needs some information.
“Can you reply now if possible?”
She is trying to organise a holiday next year for us and the booking is time sensitive. Even when no one is with me, there is a presence, an example of a demand that requires an immediate response.
I’ve thought of going on a Retreat, one where no one can reach you and phones are switched off. However, you know what it is like, the tug and pull of people. I can’t turn my phone off. What if someone needs you when Dad is ill, or your daughter is trying to get hold of you?
I can see why Dr Mosley left his phone at the hotel on that fateful June Walk in Greece of which he never got to his destination, to be away from the distractions. I have given myself countless promises to get out more, just to get in the car and drive. A friend would say it’s a lack of boundaries and they would be right.
Why am I even able to sit here today? Because I’m off my childcare duties due to recovering from something contagious, now resolved, but a day off just to be on the safe side with a 10-month-old grandson to think about.
This comes back to a past post of squeezing and compressed time. As I have said before, this blog has a life of its own. Many of these posts’ subjects can overlap with common links and interconnections. This is one of the many surprises since setting up footstep conversations.
What feels certain is that silence doesn’t feel bad, quite the contrary. There is solitude and there is loneliness. You can be in a crowd and feel lonely. You can be on your own but know there is a network of people out there holding you up. I think of my penfriend in Australia. I have only ever seen her three times over the 40 years we have known each other but her presence is always there. This is one of the advantages of the technological age. Our video calls and messages, sending photos and thoughts have sustained me over many years.
Solitude is not bad for us, but loneliness is and that’s the difference. The data informs us in numerous studies that loneliness is damaging to our long-term physical and mental health. Here is just one of them.
I’m waiting for the phone to ping again, but it hasn’t. Maybe, I can sit here a little longer……..”
Are you lonely? Do you just require peace and some alone time, or are both relevant in your life?
What could you do about this?
Until next time….
If you want to read Philip Larkin’s poem, ‘Church Going’ there is a link to it here.
Photographs from St Mary’s Church, Snettisham, Norfolk.
‘Steeple Chasing, Around Britain by Church,’ Peter Ross, Crown, page 357, Headline Publishing Group, 2023.
