Allow me to introduce you to Sarah Hare, the youngest daughter of Thomas Hare, a family that has lived in this area since the 1500s.

I’m back at the Holy Trinity Church of St Bardolph, Norfolk close to where I live. I never knew she was tucked away here in a large, dark wooden cabinet, yet wanting to be seen. I expected her to be lying down but no, she wanted to stand up, as if death hadn’t defeated her.

( The quality of the photo is interfered by the glass reflection. I tried different angles and this one was the best.)

Yes, you will see something quite unusual, and the only funerary figure outside of London. She is kept in memorial in wax with her real hair, grimy hands, dirty face and piercing eyes, almost with a spookiness about them. She had given instruction that she wanted to be preserved in wax and her face was probably a life-or-death mask as she had died of sepsis from a needle work injury, at the age of 55, on the 9th of April 1744. She wore her own clothes and the red cloak was particularly striking against her damask gown.

As I stared at her, I tried to get inside her head as to why she would want to be remembered this way which poses a question.

How do you wish to be remembered?

 The theme for this week’s post is immortality, life and death. This might sound a bit heavy as the dark wooden chest Sarah is placed in within this family crypt. However, far from this post’s theme sounding morbid, this one is full of living and here’s why.

( On a side note, as I took this photo she was behind me, I could almost feel her eyes looking at me. It wasn’t scary though. It felt quite peaceful.)

I was 60 in January- quite a milestone and some big ponderings started to come into play. I might have more innings in me yet, but you also realise that time is beginning to run out. The dreams, aspirations, things not done, and places not seen become more urgent.

With the birth of my grandson last August, this was a big catalyst to start really looking after myself. I want to see him grow up, be part of his life and remember his nana for all her chatty, quirky ways and zest for living. I want to live more now than ever before.

So, I started to ask some big questions and for me write out some powerful statements about how you want the rest of your life to go.

My mission statement (Ikigai, meaning reason or purpose)- more about the book Ikigai in next week’s post.

I say and write words to positively impact people’s lives.

 This is essentially the essence of who I am. My English work at the Farm, the birth of this blog and recently helping students with interview preparation to help them succeed in their chosen jobs.

I have health, wealth and happiness every day. (Wealth isn’t just about money, that’s another post for another time.)

I can play the piano.

I can walk without pain. Note, I use the word can, not I would like, or hope too. Writing in the present tense as if it is now and done is very powerful. There is research on this, just google it.

I have several more statements, but you get the idea.

This also brings the word gratitude into play here which is a huge subject all of its own. I have an 89-year-old friend who, by most people’s standards, has led a simple life confined mostly to her town and who has only ever lived in one of two houses which are next door to each other. She lost her husband at age 61 and her son who was aged 47. My family is the only one she has, even though we are not related.

Yet, never have I seen such a display of simple gratitude which has shaped her life from one which could be viewed as narrow and sad to one of blessings and joys. She is a wonderful example of gratitude, of noticing the violets on her walk to the shops last February, to the leaves shining in the local park with the sunshine.  When any small occasion comes her way, a road trip out, an invitation, however small, then this lady is so happy as she notices the shapes of the clouds as we drive along. I will never forget her pointing out the rabbit on the road to March on an outing to my daughter’s. She has had little money all her life, but her riches are many.

So, I come back to the question.

How do you wish to be remembered?

What’s important to you?

I want to walk around the UK writing about life, health and what it means to be alive and living the best life you can, including visiting cathedrals and churches with my laptop in tow. For all sorts of reasons, and the need to work consistently being one of them, this at the moment is confined more to days out, occasional 24 hour get-a-ways and any holidays. However,it is an intention I aim to do when I can fully retire.

I want to start a local walking and writing group, ideally next year but under an umbrella organisation where I can have a safety net, insurance and guidance so other people can harness what I am benefiting from. Walking is powerful, writing is powerful but put the two together and you can have a superpower to propel you into anything you want to be. Note, I write this with caution as I am not a counselor, see my disclaimer. There is a lot more ground work to do before I embark on such a venture.

How do I want to be remembered?

Someone who did the best they could with the modest talents they have and to not waste a single second. Wasting time is not for me and to fill each day with something I love and can be proud of. This could be criticised. I am not saying family isn’t important, it absolutely is, but your life can be more than just your family or your day job.

You have a right to fulfil your dreams. I do not need to be preserved in wax. I want to fly away on the wind in dust to mix with the air and for my family to plant some snowdrops in my favourite place. My collections of writings (my best ones) will be left to the family for any creative reference and hopefully some wisdom and interest and a memory that was kind, compassionate and caring.

That to me sounds like a pretty good life and for now, I am happy to get on and live this way.

How do you want to get on with your life, if there was nothing to stop you doing anything?

Until next week…..