( Again, this audio is not a transcription of this writing but as a separate conversation to introduce this post)
Another mini-blog post this week, as Easter events and family staying during this time have meant writing has been difficult. However, I wanted to get something down on digital paper, as writing is a promise you keep not only to yourself but to your audience. So here we go into the subject of Blue and I have found it quite fascinating.
( A sky scene from a local walk often taken with my walking friend)
Nature lovers know the powerful effects of ‘ Green Therapy,’ examples include forest bathing, walking in the countryside and enjoying our environment. But what does the colour blue conjure up in your mind? Let’s take a brief pause and consider this. What would blue therapy mean to you and what other associations are there to it?
Firstly, I want to think of all the connections I know about this colour that immediately springs to mind without too much thinking.
The Blue Moon, Next due 31st May 2026
Blue Lagoon, A spa resort in Iceland famous for its thermal waters
The colour blue as a ribbon in a wedding garter ( symbolising love and fidelity)
Blue John, is the gemstone found in Blue John Mines in Derbyshire. This is now rare and valuable.
Blue skies and seas
Baby boys and blue
Water sports
Blue Blood- deoxygenated blood returning to the lungs.
Blue light from screens which hinders our sleep
Idiom: Out of the blue- unexpected occurence
Talking until you are blue in the face- talking when someone is frustrating you, as they are not taking any notice of what you are saying.
Feeling Blue
Blue Monday- usually the third January after Christmas when people’s bills are arriving and New Year’s Resolutions are dying. This is a most depressing time.
Another pause in my words to think about, from the last one on my list. When you imagine blue, is this a positive colour or one where you associate it with ‘feeling down,’ of cold hands and lips, of winter weather?
Doing a little research, I have discovered that whole books have been written about the colour blue and how diverse it is with many connotations, symbolism and meanings, symbolically, spiritually and practically.
Pondering about blue, I realise this post could open up discussions about other colours and how they affect our mood. What colours are we most drawn to and why? I love the colour purple but am often drawn to wear blue for work because it feels professional and tidy. There is a certain efficiency about blue. It feels neat, smart and orderly and can often be a colour choice for interviews or important speaking events.
As a healing colour, it is not surprising it’s used for images within the medical field and NHS. Blue feels very calming and peaceful to me. The healing and positive well-being effects of blue are documented.
“There’s a reason we think of blue as relaxing; it tends to lower our heart rates, blood pressure, and even our body temperature. Blue can have an effect on the pituitary gland, affecting our sleep patterns, and it can slow our breathing as well. Studies of memory have demonstrated that memory is enhanced by blue light, and blue light can even kill some bacteria!”
Katie Smith @ sensationalcolour.com.
Many of my photos are of skies landscapes and water. It contrasts well with green, yellow and blends with lilac and other pastel and light shades. If I was a painter, I would see blue as one of my favourite colours.
( The Abbey Ruins at Walsingham, Norfolk)
Blue is also seen as very spiritual. We think of Mary the mother of Jesus in a blue robe and blue is associated with the heavens, a gateway to us and God. The colour blue is found in the Old Testament where the tassals of the Israelites were blue to remind them of the Lords Commandments.
( My friend Jean’s garden in the spring who many of my local friends. Her garden is a riot of blue this time of year)
Then we can think of all the blue in Nature. I love blue flowers in the spring, the tiny forget-me-knots and the beautiful bluebells in May. As someone who loves the weather and looks at the sky daily ( I’m writing a mini weather journal over one year) I realise blue is a very positive colour in my life.
Here is a good article about the meaning of blue and what it represents. There is so much fascinating information to read here.
( Water reflections Gooderstone Water Gardens, Near Oxborough, Norfolk)
So blue is a very rich colour and should not be seen as cold and mainly limited to water or skies. If you glance, as I have just done, at the History and other associations of blue, you begin to see it has a lot of surprises. I wanted to do a more detailed study of this colour and appreciate I have just skimmed the surface of this topic. However, this is an introduction for you to reflect upon, and how blue might feel for you.
A new poem for you to consider and how these words can be applied to many contexts. Inspired by an event and conversations, I wrote this poem in five minutes.
“Life is for living, not for quitting
Life is truly yours, not for fitting
Into someone else’s idea of how it should look
Life is for uplifting, not for hitting
Your own face when it doesn’t work
Life is not about splitting yourself in half
Life isn’t all about sitting either
But just turning up and not necessarily winning.
When something needs to be done, do it.
When someone needs your love, show it.
When someone needs a friend, be it.
But above all be a friend to yourself.
Because without that
You life will never feel like a life that is fulfilling or forgiving
When things are messed up
chucked up
mixed up
TRUST that it will all work out in the end
As intended
All in unison
Blended, not offended
PEACE! “
As writers don’t sabotage your growth, write. As crafters craft, as photographers, take pictures. As walkers, walk and as healers heal. As carers, care and as makers, make. As musicians play and as gardeners, garden the seeds of today for tomorrow’s harvest, because it is all good and worthwhile and ENOUGH.
You are enough. TODAY ALWAYS.
That’s my message for this week. Plain and simple and getting back after a break for work involving the new tax year, of exciting plans and new moves. Also, been painting a daughter’s kitchen:))
Until next time, when I will be talking about therapy the colour of blue. Interested to hear my thoughts then see you next week.
When you think of water how does it make you feel?
The audio this week, I hoped would be a video but I am still learning how to place them here within a certain bandwidth. Sadly, it had to be converted to MP3 only and you can hear my little grandson in the background enjoying the splashing water. I hope the sound is at least calming.
( Mother’s Day Visit to Gooderstone Water Garden, near Oxborough, Norfolk)
When I imagine water, I hear babbling streams and brooks. I think of the countryside, Yorkshire, The Lakes and can imagine myself sitting by a stream just pausing for a bit. We create ponds and water features in our gardens. It plays its tune to us as we soak up the summer sun. Eating al-fresco with a glass of something cool in hand, as water plays along with the outside orchestra of birds, trickling along without rhythmical hesitations.
Like drinks, water quenches our thirst in more ways than we realise. It does more than hydrate our cells, but appears to replenish our souls. The liquid of life that was a crucial element of when time began. To not have water is the end of life itself.
(The Beach at Corton, Lowestoft, Suffolk)
I was born in Lowestoft and the picture of water there for me was crashing waves, foam and tossing seas. The foghorn with November’s mist, the towering light house and the sound of seagulls all around. Often it was windy by the seashore, and I recall walks on Pakefield cliffs on a Sunday afternoon as a child with my parents. Little did I realise then, but I enjoyed walking by the sea and still do. I often want to take myself there after a stressful time or busy period. A place to inhale the sea air, like a medical nebuliser, expanding my lungs and clearing out the dust from my veins.
Many people turn to water when they need some escape or distraction. When we feel a little battled by life’s events or when we want to de-stress. Sports such as fishing, wild swimming, sailing and paddleboarding are pursuits where we can feel restful, even whilst engaged in a physical activity.
I live on the edge of the Fens and drive past rivers and waterways where boats and water stretch into the distance and I wonder where they are heading to. An untravelled place in time, the explorer in me wants to know more and the urge to see where the river bends is strong. The Fens were reclaimed from the water and the landscape, once boggy marshes, makes this corner of my world, now drained, so fertile for farmers.
( A local outing to a Lavendar Farm, Heacham, Norfolk Caley Mill)
For me, I enjoy seeing water and hearing its sounds. It has an integral part in the way nature plays out. I have enjoyed being by it, standing near a water’s edge taking photographs such as this one and pondering life as I see its shine, physical reflections and movement.
However, I cannot swim and am afraid when it comes to water which is a shame. I have tried to learn to swim many times and have never managed to conquer the phobia. Walking on dry land makes me feel safer.
For others though, there is a fearlessness about water which is inspiring and poses the question.
Why do you think water can be so freeing?
From my perspective, It isn’t constricted by time, or people’s demands. It goes where it wants to, uninhibited and not afraid. I just wonder when we persue water hobbies do we feel the same? The freedom of being in the open air, the tingling splash on our faces, feeling the breeze, the gliding movement, the pulling forces and the push against the flow.
Water can be our friend when we know how to work with it and respect its power. We also know the devastating effects climate change is having on our world and the heartache it has caused when people’s homes are flooded, damaging land, destroying crops and wildlife.
But let’s leave water though in a positive light. People care about this precious resource and feel invested in it. Not just wanting to spend their time being around it, but also caring about how it is managed in a sound environmental way. We have seen lobbying and campaigning for our privatised water companies to clean up its act as far as making our waterways and rivers cleaner and safer, and locally we have individuals highlighting the need to protect our chalk streams which we are lucky to have in my part of the world.
( A stranger just enjoying the water at lowestoft)
I would love to know from anyone where water is an essential part of their recreational life and how it affects them? Why they like to be near it, or in it? And how does water feel different to those of us who feel safer on dry land?
I shall be taking a week’s break from blogging as the end of the tax year requires some business work. I shall be back in two weeks.
I am inspired this week to write about movement in a different way, having read @BethKempton’s Soul Circle prompt this last week which I subscribe to and an article on Substack on the same subject.
Ironically, to go deep into this word, I had to sit with it for a while and think about rhythm all around us, as a vibration on different levels/frequencies which encompasses so much of our everyday lives. Science tells us we are all made up of energy and we radiate a frequency which is reflected in our moods, thoughts and actions.
But what is rhythm in its fullest and most diverse expression? This week’s audio was recorded, just after a piano lesson and it was a focused hour of creating musical rhythm which is a work in progress for me. But rhythm isn’t just associated with music, is it? Here is my list of rhythms in all its various guises. See if you can think of any more.
The rhythm of flow in uninterrupted work states where ideas flow and understanding grows. We work best when we enter this state. Kal Newport has written a book about it called ‘Deep Work.’ See my Library page.
The rhythm of the wind flowing through trees horizontally, and vertically, whirling in circles and increasing and decreasing in speed is a fundamental part of our weather.
The rhythm of change as we flow through one day to the next, creating new experiences, work, and pleasure and how we can quicken the pace or pause the note, depending on where we are in our lives.
The rhythm of our heartbeat, the blood in our veins and arteries which keeps us alive and what we need to do to sustain optimum health.
The rhythm of our walking pace, the sounds created from our steps around us, our ears listening to those sounds of nature.
The rhythm of the song as we sing in choirs, collectively one voice in unison, taking part in something where we are one element of a bigger whole.
The rhythm of a clock ticking down time as we move through the years. The little hand marks significant focal points, as the minute hand of our tiny actions and habits influences the main events of our existential being until we get to our midnight hour.
The rhythm of the universe as stars are born and die in the sky, the ever-changing constellations, the moon cycles that observe Universal Laws.
The rhythm of the seasons as we move through winter to spring, summer to autumn, celebrating the equinox, the turn of the calendar and nature’s wheel in a circular motion.
The rhythm of writing as we create thoughts, stories and ideas on a page, the pen or laptop keys moving in tune with our mind.
Rhythm isn’t one thing in isolation but becomes part of other activities and my walk today showed me that spontaneity can equally flow with this force side by side.
This is what happened next:
! Having put my phone in my bag, I looked and saw some horses.
I remembered I had an apple in my bag and a tinge of excitement emerged knowing that the horse would like it.
I went up to the horse and spoke to this lovely animal, giving my apple which he/she gracefully took. There was an instant energy of connection. I felt it whilst hearing the crunch from their teeth against the apple’s flesh.
The other horses stirred and took an interest. I would need to come back with three carrots next time I thought. I started to take some photos as the horse drank the water.
As I photographed the scene, a fellow walker and photographer came up and seeing me taking pictures started to do the same.
I spoke and we had a brief chat for five minutes as the rhythm of the camera shutter clicked quietly in the background. He was round about my age and I didn’t want him to think I was chatting him up, so I moved on soon after:))
Having walked on I stopped at my favourite spot. I drank in the view, at peace with the world, thinking how I loved this view. I had taken a photo of some spring blossom that had caught my eye. It dazzled in the sunshine with its pure white foliage.
Another walker came along with his walking stick and it felt natural to strike up a greeting.
The elderly gentleman was a widower from a local town. He had lost his wife 18 months before and they both had loved this spot. I said I felt the same. For him It might have been the only conversation he would have for the day. I said I would look out for him as he walked regularly there.
I headed back towards the car and two more walkers with their dogs spoke remarking that the wind was still chilly. I then proceeded to go and see my friend. This all happened in less than 30 minutes.
My elderly friend who had had problems with her phone (now resolved) was glad to see me. I had a cup of tea. We exchanged concerns and updates.
One walk: one afternoon: One hour:
I had not planned any of it, apart from seeing my friend after piano. It had cost nothing, apart from some petrol but to me, this was an afternoon that saw rhythm and spontaneity in their fullest form. The frequency I was feeling was high, a real feeling of aliveness, and gratitude, drinking in the sunshine, the clear blue sky, against the white spring foliage. The birds were singing. This to me was living.
I couldn’t have been anywhere else that could have surpassed that moment. I was in the zone. I was happy. I was aligned with a vibration of a rhythm in time that felt good.
This is what walking does for me. I am much more in tune with life’s rhythms and am starting to feel its full force with quite transformative effects. I am less anxious and my need to tightly grip work, effort, control and figuring out every potential problem with a solution before it happens is lessening. Rhymn’s voice is saying slow down, don’t force, just trust, everything is going to be Ok. Just have faith that life’s timings are all as they are meant to me. All is well.
After last week’s mammoth read (thank you to everybody who read my reflections on six months of journaling through autumn and winter and stayed to the end with helpful comments), I have chosen this week to keep things very simple.
The photos here are from my early morning weekend walk which was a lovely, frosty spring morning. I even saw deer in the distance. I’m glad I get up early for these and meet my local walking friend for the one hour and 20 mins of chat and steps.
A new step for me:
Following on, as to why walking has helped me get through the autumn and winter, I have decided to place here my poem, which was submitted for the annual poetry competition of the Happiful magazine. I’ve never dared enter a poetry competition, fearing the disappointment of the 99% inevitable rejection but I’m glad I entered for two reasons:
Because I was serious about writing something I knew would be valuable and doing the best work I could, raising my own bar. I spent considerable time on the form, and flow after the first draft.
To experience the feeling that no, this wasn’t good enough in a judge’s mind, but that was OK. It does not invalidate it, or make it not an intelligent creative piece of work.
I was so touched at how Happiful (a magazine for positive mental health) replied to every one of us, not with some cliché answer but with a well-crafted thought-out response, offering encouragement and hope, saying that many of the entries would go on to find homes of their own.
We were told that there were over 900 of us, and it was a very difficult job to select the one winner and runners up because of the high quality of the work submitted from many of the entries. This felt so genuine, not just to make us feel better. I hope mine was one of them and it has found a home here.
I look forward to reading these in the April edition to see how they differed from mine and what made them stand out to be the ‘ chosen’ ones.
The brief was to write about something that benefits your mental health:
This poem as you can see is a walk through the seasons and how indeed walking is my saving grace. I wanted the poem to build up in strength, from the autumn and the already dulling of my spirit as winter is anticipated, to the uplifting energy of the spring and summer.
To convey the feeling of flow and movement within each stanza as I walked through the months, keenly observing what was around me, and how each season offered some medicine to help my overall mental well being. The guidelines were that it had to be no more than 25 lines, minus the title. Here it is:
Walking is my Saving Grace
Autumn’s light fading, oh how I dread,
the approaching winter, legs full of lead.
But autumn colours beckon me
to put on my boots and venture out.
Golden hues and skeleton leaves of lace,
Oh, walking is my saving grace.
Winter’s light jading, nature’s sleep begins,
the pressing grey, the chilling winds.
But winter silence encourages me
to put on my boots and venture out.
Diamond dew and frosty touch to face,
Oh, walking is my saving grace.
Spring’s light calling, the dawn of song,
the heralding chorus, new life budding strong.
How spring charms entice me
to put on my boots and venture out.
My gaze is sharp and quickens pace
Oh, walking is my saving grace.
Summer light uplifting, soft foliage green,
the blooming flowers, nature’s pastel scene.
How summer emboldens me
to put on my boots and venture out.
For movement is good, a compelling case
Oh, walking is my saving grace.
@HelenMarshall November 2024
Emailing this entry to a friend and fellow writer, including poems, I wondered if the final line should have said:
‘ How walking is my saving grace to give it a final impact but breaking the pattern. I’m awaiting feedback.
I posted this on my Substack account earlier and it’s certainly been the most successful post to date there and I currently have 32 subscribers in about two and half months. It’s good to see the people who have identified with this work and re-stacked it ( shared) with comments and thoughts.
It’s a lovely community and I’m really enjoying it over there. I’m keeping this site going because of holding the domain name, and for all the other pages/references and links on this wordpress site which I don’t have on that other platform. I have put months of work into this here and my few friends who read this are not on Substack. I’m happy for the two in run in partnership with each other.
What’s next:
To follow on from this week, next week is about the word rhythm and the rhythm of life. Given poetry is central to this word, it’s another good lead on from this post. I started next week’s audio today and that was special because of what happened after the recording. Come back to find out next week. It was a great short walk.
Coping with Autumn and Winter- a six month journaling experience.
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( The audio is not a transcript but accompanying thoughts for this post and why I did this)
The following in Italics are small extracts from my journal following these last two seasons. I struggle with both, and by writing an account it set me on a path to discover any patterns of behaviours, or triggers (positively or negatively) influencing how I felt during these these times.
As I was writing I was consciously and unconsciously putting systems in place to help me, as I discovered how I was feeling. I’m glad I did this and now wish to share the main points as I wrote about the changing seasons, the weather, nature what was happening and my mental health. These extracts are in note form and are not intended to be grammatically perfect.
31st August: Blue flowers in fields against Elderflowers and red berries. Summer and autumn are starting to merge. A lot to look forward to. Some nerves about being back teaching tomorrow after a month off from the Farm.
3rd September- Cloud, damp, everything has suddenly changed, change here too. Work stress, internet down at home, mood lower already. Tinnitus up, need to stay calm and steady.
20th September- we had a full harvest moon. The bush outside my house seems redder with the berries. Mood is restored as calmer house resumes. Already starting to plan for Christmas.
Revisting these early entries have already given me some thoughts about why doing this exercise has been so helpful. The emerging patterns of feelings what triggers any stress and why do I find this time so challenging?
Some people love winter, but for me, it seems heavy, and when weighted down by external events, it feels like you are bashing against an increasing cold wind and barrier. Traditionally, this has always been the most worrying time, the Christmas bills, heating, the cost of Christmas itself, various birthdays and the cars which had to be serviced, taxed and insured weighed heavy on my mind.
At the end of September, I went on a canal boat retreat and the attendees wrote about this transition of autumn through to winter. I journaled about how I felt about it in the past, compared to how I was attempting to feel differently about it now. It was a lovely day of deep writing and travel along the river at Ely. My daughter and I attended and it was great to connect with like-minded women.
Retreat day:
Autumn past:
“The fall of the leaves shows the darkness of that bare place, branches cut, barren and lifeless. I dreaded the clocks going back. It felt like I was going backwards with them. Time sat heavy and foreboding of the winter ahead.”
Autumn present:
I don’t know how it changed. It started from that golden ball of light and liberation within. The lighter self, the clouds of fog and depression gone, and it was like the shutters from my eyes were blown away to renewal, not death and darkness but harvest and hope.
This showed me how I associated the winter and the dark days ahead with my past depression notably occurring in 1999 and 2010. I went on to write that this season (autumn) should be about preparing and self-care for what lay ahead, taking stock and harvesting all the bounty of the spring and summer months.
“ I stand in the forest and see the golden greens and browns of effort and energy in front of me and know that this autumn is not an end but only a time to evaluate and to see what has worked. The soil is enriched with my leaves of activity, returning to the earth ready to sit quietly through the winter months, ready to step forth into the spring with a newness, a bud, a flower ready to begin again.”
I was full of buoyed-up optimism at this point. After the retreat, I write of seeing the Northern Lights in October, of the mists coming, and how the light continued to change in November. I planted cyclamen with their bright colours to see from my chair in the lounge overlooking our small garden, and booked a wreath-making workshop for Christmas. Something to look forward to seemed the way to get through this period. My daughter who finds winter equally stressful was doing similar things.
17th November- Harder- illness soon arrives with the autumn colours.
(Having a small toddler in our family now meant that we were being bathed in childhood germs).
Hand, Foot and Mouth wiped out most of November and lingering colds, though I was staying strong and virus-free up to this point elevated by Vitamin D, Zinc and Magnesium from my Joint supplements. My daughter’s plans for little activities to look forward to were largely wiped out from her calendar with quiet resignation. The wreath making workshop never happened and we did ours at home for my daughter’s 30th birthday.
26th November- Feeling like I have come out of a mini tunnel.
I had been to Oxford to see my aunt and as I entered the door back home, I didn’t come out the other side until now.
8th December- Possibly taking up a weather journal next year.
I had connected with a local village on Facebook and a guy was writing a weather report each day. I read and commented every day, showing my appreciation and encouragement, knowing what it feels like to write into thin air for no one to comment or possibly even look. My roots of loving the weather returned no matter what it threw at us.
This was a new activity. New activities I realised helped me. Husband says I’m happiest when I have something on the go. I also wrote:
“ Christmas, you go through this with high expectations only to see the hope dwindle with the light. Early Christmas planning is key.”
15th December- I take up poetry again after witnessing a glorious sunset. “ A Sunset by Little Thetford.” A small snippet.
“December midline and already fading
The Winter Solstice soon
Turns nature’s wheel again
Shifting time,
I move on.”
18th December- The first snowdrops in the garden. This winter has gone quickly so far.
3rd January weekend away with my lovely friend Sue to see at the ROH Cinderella in London. Pure magic and what a wonderful two days away.
8th January. There has been frost, rain and winds. Birds finally returned to the bird feeders today after hanging them up on Boxing Day and waiting.
The new term of teaching begins. Vanessa Thomas’ Mindful Narrowboat has been a beautiful find. (YouTube) Her journals were being bought for my birthday.
I started to feed the birds again and going out and recording winter bird songs. The robin I can now identify and the house sparrow. I can pick out a Tit but not know which one yet.)
18th January- A weather journal started since the New Year and a gratitude journal.
I had started morning walks and this was helping me want to get up and get on. The gratitude journal comprised one main event of the day and three things to be thankful for. Research says it’s powerful but it felt quite functional at first. It grows on you and the feeling increases as to the effect of it. Both are ongoing and I’m committed to completing them for the year.
25th January. Had a nice birthday. Quiet, spent at home. Susan and her husband came to visit. We had cake and I made soup. It was just what I wanted as I had had a big 60th birthday party last year. I went out for a walk and the sky was blue.
9th February
Illness, virus, hard, SED feel it in its grip, sitting no good, combined with malaise and grey, comfort in words, reading and writing. I’m an armchair hiker and traveller ( Reading Salt Path, plus sequel). I need to go to the nature reserve again. I feel its call. Trees for me are a healing place. Looking out of the window, there have been mists. The time has felt like a tunnel again. Only outside and fresh air can help.
14th February
Antibiotics (tonsillitis been ill since 27th Jan), blue skies this afternoon – the light is returning both physically and mentally. We are nearly out of this tunnel. Being outside and walking are two factors that I shall carry with me as remedies for surviving winter, even if the weather is terrible.
Had hit a terrible low by this point and my brain I felt was failing. Even got the name wrong on one of my substacks posts about my dog. I was forgetting things, stewing about the past, ruminating and this felt like a deep crisis. I turned to meditation, prayers, breathing and simply acknowledging past grieves and regrets. There were powerful conversations at home.
20th February. I walk Paige (daughter’s greyhound) at 17.30 and it was still twilight. Real progress with the light now. It’s becoming warmer too. (I don’t think it was but maybe I felt warmer as the end of winter was fast approaching.) The tulip heads are showing more in the planted tub outside. Tomorrow, I walk.
28th February
“ So we end this section here after six months of observations of autumn, through winter and out the other side. I shall do it again next autumn and winter to make any comparisons (given any changes). The daffodils are out and blue skies, The birds were singing at 10.00 am.
28th February continues
“Recording here has been a useful anchor point as this winter, with so much illness, has been the toughest winter yet. Spring really does pave the way for change, hope and a new tomorrow.
Tonight is the planetary alignment.”
Reflections:
At the end of this record, I was sitting on a swing in a local park breathing the air saying we have done this. A friend had sent a song for me to listen to. I smiled and thought my friends are such treasures. I would not swap my life for anyone’s because I have these people in my world. My family of course are vital but I want to acknowledge here how friends really are a lifeline.
Having read this fourth draft back, I realise that I was putting in place further strategies and systems as each new challenge or feeling arose.
My brain health has become a priority over anything else. I have placed an emphasis on the physical but now this shifts.
More sleep, I go to bed regularly and earlier and the morning walks I have noticed help me sleep better.
Move, really move more. I have started some indoor exercise on YouTube to old 1970’s 80’s music. Exercise has got to be something you enjoy, otherwise you just don’t do it.
Less screens: did some research on this and my grey matter and hippocampus have clearly shrunk due to 15 years of phone and screen time. I am saying wrong words I’ve noticed called ‘slip of the tongue’ and stress can do this. Cognitively I have lost a lot of confidence in my ability to process things.
Truly, I have even been quite paranoid about early dementia but I don’t fit the early warning signs, apart from what I have just mentioned. I’m a high-functioning individual but running a self-employed teaching business has meant 24/7 hustle and effort since 2018 and I am tired. I realise I have been close to burnout and I know what care responsibilities mean. I am also slowly doing some more teacher training to keep the numbers in my classrooms buoyant and fresh with new ideas and improved teaching methodology. My life like many of us is a juggling act.
No daytime TV. It’s on here for hours at a time for my husband but I am not being sucked into it.
I have been worried about walking in isolated places on my own and tend to stick to safe streets, but these are becoming boring around my housing estate. I want to be out in the wild. I tried to sell my little commute bike but had no luck. Maybe that was meant to be. The bike is being oiled and I plan to bike out a bit, walk and then get back on it again and bike off should I feel the need to. I think it will give me more security and I can go out further quicker, especially on workdays when time is less.
If I can next year, I want to take a proper winter holiday with warmth and sun. The endless grey at times has been so hard.
Big observation: Winter and Christmas are not the same. They are together but they both need to be dealt with separately. They are both stresses in different ways. Recognising the need to get early Christmas planning was a lifesaver for this last one and it will be started even earlier this year( the commercial aspect to it) which I hate. This will leave the way clear to just deal with winter as it unfolds, plus any spiritual celebrations.
Markers and rituals; Turning my seasonal photos over in their picture frame and my picture of nature’s wheel have felt grounding.
So work in progress. Has anything jumped out for you here? I would love to know. One thing that jumped out for me is how many times I have used the word tunnel.
If you have struggled with this last six months or experience Seasonal Effective disorder , I would really encourage you to do this. I have gained so much from this experience to move forward for next time. For now Spring is here and I am so glad.
Full circle, I am in Oxford again and taking a break next week. I shall be back here on Wednesday the 19th March.
Following on from last week’s post, I have decided to continue this theme of what it means to be a pilgrim, and why I think many of us could be one, even if we have never made a connection with the word to ourselves.
So, firstly what does this word mean? Before I dive straight into the Oxford Online Dictionary, I’m going to pause and write my own definition and then see how this translates to the formal linguistic definition.
Pilgrimage- my definition:
To go on a walk of intention to a set destination for the purpose of a spiritual encounter.
For the literal definition here it is: Note, I haven’t taken the first definition in this link if you should want to look at the reference but this one because I think that’s what most people would agree on.
“ A trip, often a long one, made to a holy place for religious reasons.”
I have quoted here The National Trust’s description which I think gives a richer meaning of what it means to be a pilgrim.
“A pilgrimage is a devotional practice consisting of a prolonged journey, often undertaken on foot or horseback, toward a specific destination of significance. It is an inherently transient experience, removing the participant from his or her home environment and identity. The means or motivations in undertaking a pilgrimage might vary, but the act, however performed, blends the physical and the spiritual into a unified experience.”
A brief history of the pilgrim:
We think of pilgrims as walkers to specific religious buildings or places undertaken by both Christians and Muslims. For the purposes of this post, I mention a few of the most popular destinations in the UK, not because the walks to Mecca and the Muslim faith are not equally important, but because I draw from my own Christian experiences and historical interests. The picture below is one I took on a walk at Spilsby in the Lincolnshire Wolds in 2021.
Often, these are long journeys with a set path, resting at various intervals along the way. The last reference mentions the 12th Century in the UK as a Golden Age of pilgrimages. They span over centuries and are a focal point for people seeking miracles, redemption, the forgiveness of sins, and prayerful encounters with a divine Deity. Henry VIII visited the Slipper Chapel twice with his first wife Catherine of Aragon leaving money and lighting candles at Walsingham.
For me, I love the Anglican shrine at Walsingham. A place I crave when I seek peace, and quiet and I often take the Holy Spring water there and write my own prayer requests and light a candle. Henry VIII’s Dissolution of the Monasteries from 1536 robbed us of many precious religious sites such as the Abbey at Walsingham, though I firmly believe King Henry never left his Catholic faith to embrace the Reformation during this period.
Other Popular Pilgrimage walks and destinations in the UK:
The first one that springs to mind is Canterbury Cathedral, a place I have longed to visit again. I remember my parents taking me as a child and I distinctly remember the place where Thomas Beckett was slain by the knights of Henry II and how the Guide removed his hat in respect to the cannonised Archbishop of Canterbury. You can read a fuller historical account here.
And of course, as a lover of the Northumberland landscape and who could happily retire there to higher ground, away from the exposed landscape to flooding where I live, we cannot forget Lindisfarne, a place well known for miracles and its association with St Cuthbert.
Closer to home we have the famous Peddars Way where Pilgrims would rest on their way to Walsingham. It dates back to AD 61 when it was built by the Romans across East Anglia. It runs from Knettishall Health in Suffolk to the North Norfolk Coast near Hunstanton. Peddar comes from the Latin word ‘Pedester’ which means on foot and is part of the Norfolk Coast Path National Trail.
A local resting place- The Red Mount King’s Lynn:
Built between 1483 and 1485 this octagonal chapel was built, not only to bring trade into the town but as a resting place for pilgrims on their way to Walsingham. Made of Tudor brick it’s shaped with a buttress at each corner and is open to the public on National Heritage Days. I couldn’t help but think how cold it must have been, even though I saw a small fireplace inside. The walk of the Pilgrim was certainly a hard one.
Our travels:
Can we take this word and create a more modern secular definition? I think we can.
I know of friends who take off seeking family ancestry, churches, and buildings in connection with their own place in history, or people who walk for spiritual comfort, myself included, and who travel to set destinations for intentions of nourishment for physical and mental healing and rest. I feel these are all pilgrimages in some form, even if there isn’t a religious building at the end of the road.
And forgive me for mentioning ‘The Salt Path’ by Raynor Winn yet again, but wasn’t that an incredible pilgrimage to find forgiveness, healing, and hope, even if the walkers didn’t confess to any scriptural belief set? If you haven’t read my blog post book review, then take a look, you will find it listed on the right of this blog site, if you go to this site’s home page.
Furthermore, I have heard on TV programs about walks where walkers have found the church door open for rest and to find a quiet space. This is personally why I like to visit them and my retreats are not only to Walsingham but to the Lincolnshire Wolds where I see this as a very special place unspoiled, wild, and liberating. I come away totally restored.
In conclusion:
Are you a pilgrim? Could you be seeking your own pilgrimage?
I hope this blog post has given you some insight into this subject that maybe you too would like to take a rucksack and some time out to walk on a journey of discovery, and an end point where you feel refreshed and fulfilled. You may discover something more, or about yourself, than just a landmark at the end of the road.
What a simple yet wonderful idea, started by one person concerned about climate change and who wanted to do something about it. And there could be no better way than to create something quite extraordinary, not with words but still with hands. This time the pen was exchanged for a sewing needle.
Welcome to the Coat of Hopes exhibition that I was fortunate enough to see, visiting two places near to where I live. I was so drawn to this story. In response to our ever-increasing concerns about the future of our planet, the coat was started as one piece of sewing to be worn on a walk starting from Newhaven in August 2021 to the COP 26 Glasgow, UN Climate Change conference.
Sewing hopes and feelings into the fabric:
As you can see from the pictures below, people have been invited to contribute to the coat, sewing, weaving and embroidering their hopes, grief, memories, tributes, and feelings into this living piece of work, as it walks its way along the UK. Covering over 1500 miles so far, and resting in various places as a pilgrim of peace whilst carrying an important message that climate change is urgent.
I first saw it in The Minster in King’s Lynn on February 7th and thought, why not follow its journey, as it moved on to Ely Cathedral? So, I made a short journey to Ely the next week to view it there, light a candle and pause to think about my place in the world, and within the environmental emergency facing us today, as we all live in our ever-consuming world.
A close friend and I went to The Minster together. We met an old teaching colleague who was with a school party from the local Greyfriars Academy. We had both worked there as teaching assistants. This was a very happy time of my work life, and it was so good to see children drawing their own patches in pencils and crayons that will be locally exhibited. Children are the future custodians of our planet and the more aware they are of the need to care for it, then our world may still have a chance.
The coat moved on:
On my next visit to Ely, my husband David came along with me. We spoke to a Guide who was from America and who had been living in the UK for a while. We had a conversation about the alarming political changes in the West, the awful conflicts going on and man’s desire to conquer and claim through bombs, terror and ideologies. Whilst this was a serious conversation, it was also uplifting to know there are so many kindred spirits who have a deep desire for justice, humanity, and care and who stand in unity for world peace.
However, what was a piece of serendipity was when we popped into the gift shop on the way out and saw a distinct display of, by now, familiar drawings waiting for me, as a nudge that we are all on our own pilgrimages.
“ Oh, look David” I said. “ It’s Angela Harding’s drawings from the book The Salt Path” having never encountered anything like them before. So many lovely gifts to choose from and I was tempted by the notebooks (but I have so many) that I chose a paperweight instead.
Freedom to fly, and freedom to just ‘be’ were the thoughts that came to mind. Come home and sit on my writing desk and write with me, I thought, as I looked at the beautiful glass artwork. We are all walking and flying together through life.
Where next?
The Coat of Hope Exhibition will leave Ely on the 21st of February and will be walked to Norwich Cathedral. You can see from the image below some information concerning the Coat’s progress.
The aim is to keep going with more people sewing and walking until finally a pivotal point comes when the whole world realises that we are all going to have to work together if we have any hope left of saving this planet.
In my own corner of the world, it is predicted that within the next forty years, with the increased warming of the oceans, King’s Lynn will be under the sea, most of Lincolnshire gone and my town in Southwest Norfolk will be on the edge of survival.
How can I leave this not on a sombre note?
People and projects, scientists and researchers are working hard to find solutions to our climate crisis. We must hope that it is not too late, and that we can find some way for everyone to have a place in our modern world. Where we can reap the benefits of civilisation, the progress in better health ( having just finished a course of penicillin myself) that man can thrive, but crucially that animals, wildlife and ecosystems can live with us.
There is enough for all of us, but we have to share and we need to respect all living creatures. We must challenge corporate greed, have practical and sustainable ways to work and travel, and where money and power are seen to be all races to the bottom.
Time to embrace a pilgrimage on thinking about what truly matters most.
What matters most to you?
Until next time, when I will continue this theme on the history of pilgrimages and why people walk on them.
There is no audio this week. Rain and a persistent throat virus prevent me from taking a walk and recording a message. I have a feeling though I am too soft. Rain, sore throat and an ear ache wouldn’t have stopped the subject of this week’s blog and certainly not the people in last week’s.
( All photos were taken along Ely River on my narrow boat trip last year)
Has Winter felt long this year? It has for me, but a recent discovery as we sit and brave out the dark nights has arrived in the form of a YouTube channel called ‘The Mindful Narrow Boat’ by Vanessa Thomas. The benefits of nature, wildlife, sunshine, walking, travelling and being outside are laid out on our screens for all to see as we float along the canals with her, be it in our armchairs.With her unique brand of creativity, she shares her life on a narrow boat with her dog Zephyr. I am sure her husband helps in the background, but she is the sole presenter.
I’m not drawn to water, not being a swimmer, but there is something about the narrow boat life that is appealing. I am an Aquarian, the sign of the water carrier, so perhaps something of that element is within me waiting to be explored. However, I think it has more to do with the gentle pace of this life and the undeniable fact that if we are to re-wild our most nature-deprived country in Europe then water has a huge role to play in its recovery.
You may remember, in another blog, my experience of a writing retreat day on a narrow boat in Ely last year. I can see why I enjoyed it so much. To be carried by the water and the soothing sound of the boat’s engine, watching the swaying reed beds and soaking up, what was then a September day, did an enormous amount of good for my well-being. A new teaching term meant that I was reviving up the work engine and this outing was a gentle way back into this after the long summer break.
( This picture reminded me of The Mindful Narrow Boater’s own boxed garden on her barge. I love it)
But I also think her enormous following says more than just her fascinating account of her life, as she washes in local history, walks, beautiful filming of wildlife and brews tea at the end (as we all wait to see what she is putting on her plate this week) in the form of cake or some tasty snack.
More of us want to ‘get-away-from-it-all ’ the increase in motor home and camper van sales, the caravans and the rambles in the countryside, not to mention the increase in flights and seeking different holiday destinations. Also, the picking up a tent and taking off with wild camping such as we saw in last week’s blog The Salt Path.
We live in an ever-fast-paced world, of noise, screens and technology. I think most of us want to slow down, decompress, go on a walk, pick up a book, or camera and just breathe. For me, the escape on a Friday night (when new Vlogs are released) helps me forget the world and become absorbed in that week’s environment. Vanessa moors and steps off her narrow boat taking us on walks to fascinating museums, towns, mill factories and other buildings of the past Industrial Revolution. This appeals to my deep love of history as well as nature.
In saying this, I am under no illusion this is not an easy life as this week’s episode mentions the practicalities of seeking water, gas, and refuse collection points as well as the fitness required to deal with the opening and closing of locks. The latter seems monotonous and tedious and it slows you down.
It doesn’t appear you can get anywhere fast on a narrow boat, but maybe that’s the advantage. You must have patience, time and a mindset of facing challenges posed by the elements as you face each lock, one at a time. There are lessons to be learnt here as we face our own locks of obstacles, setbacks and challenges methodically overcome with patience and persistence.
( This one is a connection to the two swans in this week’s Vlog)
This brings me back to ‘The Salt Path’, a journey completed on land, not water but there is a close, unbreakable force in a relationship with the outside world. Respecting this was key to the walker’s survival and respecting the land. I suspect this is just as much for Vanessa’s life as it was for Ray and Moth’s.
At the end of each week’s Vlog, the icing on the cake for me is, once the tea is brewed, then we catch a glimpse into this week’s capture of life in poems and exquisite coloured pencil drawings of birds, flora and other observations in her journal pages, which this author and illustrator sells on Etsy. They are divine and utterly gorgeous. I bought the two back copies and will buy the 2024 edition recently released. I won’t photograph mine for copyright reasons.
So, I would encourage you to take a look, as Patrons grow (the only YouTube channel I have ever signed up to) coffees bought and subscribers continue to rise. Vanessa is truly worthy of our support and one day we want to go to Manchester to experience part of this landscape first-hand. For now, Cornwall is the first destination.
Until next time…….
(On a related side note, the film ‘The Salt Path’ mentioned in last week’s blog’s release date is April 25th). The trailer is out and it looks epic.
I love this place, like an annual pilgrimage to this most special of spiritual spaces. The yearly snowdrop walk is something I love to do. I have taken special friends, family and even myself alone here.
This is a short post this week as I am recovering from a winter virus, and I haven’t felt like doing much of anything (and feeling the Winter blues again) but going here on Sunday was such a boast.
The woods and paths are beautiful, and it re-enforces the power of the outside, of green space, fresh air and above all walking.
I mentioned in my audio last week how I was inspired by a lovely lady called Vanessa living a life on a narrow boat and her beautiful journals. I’m realising why her work is so powerful because she observes in real time what is going on around her and then writes this down in her journal and poetry publications. This adds an extra layer of creative skill that is so clever and where you are actually feeling you are there and living it with her.
On my Sunday walk, I thought I would this a go. I had written a poem about snowdrops, but since my visit I have revised it. For example, I had an impression that snowdrop leaves were darker and shinier in real life than they really are. I changed this. I really looked at what I saw making a mental note about it, the sounds heard, the light in the trees trying to capture more than the superficial glance of the eye.
See what you think ( and just ignore the auto capitals on each line).
Snowdrops
Galanthophiles,
Lovers of white pearls of petal
Of softer pure, around leaves that settle.
Tips emerge from the hardened ground
Little bells rejoicing but without a sound.
Green tips, they peep from under trees and wood
Endearing arms with tiny, buttoned hood
Maidens lips, a touching kiss
That caresses each January and never miss.
Pale and smooth of leafy green
That people’s hearts wish to be seen
Of New Year’s walks and the hope they bring
Trumpets heralding the approach of spring.
To ponder and stare and never haste
I hear the Robin and feel his grace
To honour the snowdrops amongst the gall
A breeze with its swirling call.
We look towards their shy turned face
And on we walk, but lessen our pace
Galanthus nivalis
Snow maidens true
Our yearly guest
and never too few.
@helenmarshall Feb 2025
There is a lovely article about snowdrops here from the Woodland Trust if you care to read more about this charming and much-loved flower.
Take care and until next time…
Next week, we shall be exploring canal life on our walk.
PS: I heard last night I didn’t win the Happiful magazine poetry competition submitted in November with my poem called ‘Walking is My Saving Grace’ but I was proud I was brave enough to enter and was so impressed with how thoughtful, kind and hopeful the email response was. There were over 900 entries and apparently the judges were so impressed by the standard of entries. This actually felt genuine and there was a true compassion in their response and hope for future writing.
I can share my poem here at some stage because I think it is rather good!:))
